One of my favorite hours each week is the one I have the honor and privilege of sharing with a group of men who live at a local long-term care center. I was invited into their lives via a call placed to the Retired Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP).

Someone was needed to help facilitate a discussion group for this group of men, all of whom had seen combat in World War II, Korea, or Vietnam.

It didn't take many get-togethers for me to realize that these men had a lot to say. However, like many men of a certain era, they were not initially eager to speak of much other than women, food or baseball. With time and trust, the content deepened emotionally. I started to see the group as less about veterans and more about issues of aging: loneliness vs. intimacy, the search for belonging, and the pressure to find a sense of meaning "about life."

By now I'm certain they don't come to the group because they need to tell war stories. There are bigger needs being met: companionship and reassurance, a sympathetic ear, hearing the "self" in others, touching and being touched. It strikes me that loneliness must weaken the spirit, consume emotional strength and dim the inner flames of all hope, happiness and meaning.

When living in a long-term care facility, how does one solve the dilemma of meeting new people and spending time engaged in interesting and rewarding activities? I suspect that successfully wrestling with loneliness is much more than "keeping busy," which is often a way to minimize and avoid feelings while not looking at what might make us happy.

Sometimes it starts with telling war stories.